Change.
…is hard.
That could be the whole dang post right there, couldn’t it? CHANGE IS HARD.
(It won’t be, however, because “concise” is not my “thing.”)
Sometimes- as the case was this past winter- the name of the game was Stillness.
Mandatory, forced, if-you-don’t-stop-this-junk-and-stay-still-your-brain-will-break Stillness. At first it was incredibly difficult and felt more like stagnation than a resting period. (Then I got over that real real quick and took daily naps and read entire mystery series and had a pretty good time with my hermitude.)
But now, like, it’s spring. (“…Right?” She asks as she peeks out at the torrential midwestern rainstorms.)
And spring, inherently, is change. Growth. Energy. And, if we’re lucky, a li’l flinging open of the ol’ windows to air out the stuff that had been clogging our lungs and brains.
I have the absolute best friends.
Change has always been hard for me. Oh, I like temporary newness- like travel and shoes- and I’ve never met a room I didn’t want to immediately rearrange, but I definitely drag my heels when it’s time to cut cords or close doors or say goodbye.
So. Change.
I recently left my longtime gig at Chicago Parent Magazine and, sadly, my print arts column is no more. Without getting into a long-winded tale, there was a redesign and, honestly, I was able to admit to myself that I’d been spinning my wheels for a bit and needed a tiny push outta the nest. So it’s good.
That said, when I submitted my resignation to my beloved editor, I cried.
I’d wanted a print column for the entirety of my writerly life and it was awesome and validating and nowI’llprobablyneverhaveoneeveragain and change is super hard.
And so I put out a mental call to the universe that I was making the right choice, stepping away from print media, and perhaps focusing on the promotion of Tidyish and my home organization business?
Within a few days I had booked three in-home clients and hit 2k followers on my Tidyish Instagram account. (Ask/receive and all that.)
This past week alone has been been a juggling of an office redesign, a bathroom clear-out, unpacking and rehoming the contents of two storage spaces, and the brainstorming of a gallery wall that’ll change the feel of an entire home. I’ve been falling into bed each night with my arms sore, my mouth drooling, and my brain churning with shelving and filing and staging (oh my).
It feels…right. Purposeful.
As opposed to the type of change where my baby boy gets his kindergarten acceptance letter for the fall at his sisters’ elementary school- which also just happened.
That feels..incorrect. Like someone’s punking me.
But, as a good friend pointed out to me, my column served me incredibly well when I had tiny children and babies at home, and I couldn’t have done the type of Tidyish stuff I adore doing as easily as I can now.
So maybe…
…Change is good in terms of my littles growing up, too.
I mean, probably not. (Because ohmyGodmyBABIES.)
But maybe.
…Just maybe.
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