9 ways you know you work from home

In a completely unscientific, alarmingly biased poll (which I asked myself and nobody else), here are…

9 Ways You Know You Work From Home

(a true story)

• The concept of “office” has all been obliterated. This is great! Unfortunately, the concept of “desk” and “delineated work spaces” isn’t always held as sacred. Sometimes this means working on the floor. Of your car. In the garage. (While the Frozen soundtrack is blasting.)

• Sure, your old coworkers had their quirks, but the folks you have to deal with at the home office? Zero boundaries, you guys.
  

  (I didn’t know it was awake-optional day. Also, how am I expected to live my best life under these working conditions? Monkey sheets in a toddler bed? I am an artist.)

• There is either entirely too much food at your disposal or not enough of it in the slightest. Some days, you forget to eat at all. On others? You’re inventing tacos out of things that should never be tacos. (Who put a kitchen this close to your work-couch?)

• Flexible time is the devil’s dance, my friends. Sure, you’re free to go on that field trip. But guess who has a super-duper hard time not replying to emails at 1am? Suzy’s Mom in the blue shirt.

• There is a direct, confusing correlation between the length of time spent indoors with how filthy those indoors become. (Yes, you walk past that table 800 times a day. That doesn’t mean you’re going to clean it.)

• There’s another weird correlation between the amount of time spent in this house with how easily distracted you get in this house with side projects. Who feels a good groutin’ coming on?! (“Leave us alone”, say the backsplash tiles. “Go earn a paycheck.”)

• You anthropomorphize way too many things. Like kitchen backsplash tiles.

• The internet becomes a reward. Another cup of coffee becomes a reward. A jar of peanut butter becomes a reward. (See: #3)

• Your husband yells up the stairs and politely suggests that you lower the volume of the Frozen soundtrack.

(‘Cause your husband works from home, too.)

Add in the ones I’ve missed, home-office dwellers!

But only if you’ve earned enough internet reward time.

Comments

comments