Hi guys! I’m baaack, what’d I miss- ohmyGodWHAT’Shappeningtomorrow?!
Kidding, kidding. I may have not been posting, but I certainly haven’t been living under a rock. (Sigh.)
Now this is the part where everyone says they were kidding, too. The whole country, in fact.
I’ll wait.
…
It’s about to get real. Here, take this stick.
Here’s what I’ve learned during my four-week absence from the ol’ blog. (Good grief- four weeks? Christmas was already a month ago? I remember maybe two days of what’s happened since then. Someone needs to inform the “fight or flight” portion of my sprint-happy brain that occasionally a third option of “it’s all right” can be added to the prix fixe menu.)
Anyway.
I’ve learned that:
…I simply suck at taking a break from work. This can be viewed positively as well, since I’m clearly happy in my choice of career and have actually begun to tailor my thoughts and arguments in blog post/essay form. (This is not viewed super positively by my husband.) Also, I’ve noticed that when I Take A Break from traditional writing, it manifests itself in uncomfortably long Facebook status updates and failed attempts at tweets. #Donotlimitmycharacters
…Even when things are my son’s fault, they’re still totally my fault. During Monday’s “nap” (and the introduction of the Big Boy bed), he decided to rearrange furniture (which, yep, he comes by naturally) and use said furniture as a step stool to reach higher furniture…to draw on it with bright red marker. Whole room. Think Harold and the Red (Questionably Washable) Marker. But who left the marker kit open and on the carpet? Well…Suzy. But I saw it before nap time and did nothing. And while he was (questionably contritely) cleaning up the mess with a baby wipe, he informed me that he wasn’t going to sit on the potty, instead choosing to have a nap time PullUp diaper explosion of neon blue Mount Vesuvius proportions- but who gave him the blue cupcake, that’s my question? Well…Suzy again, but it’s a long story and probably still entirely my fault.
Paleo, gluten-free, and non-nightshade plants-based meals really, really, really help arthritic inflammation. Sweet goodness, do they help. But they don’t stop me from having downright inappropriate dreams concerning gigantic bricks of cheese and fistfuls of chocolate. (But not at the same time. That’s gross. Unless it’s a lightly layered goat cheese-type tart with a dusting of…see, you guys? I’m doing it right now.)
My word of the year for 2017 is “no.” Which sounds a lot more negative than it really is. Maybe it should be “less.” (Maybe it should be “don’t be so goddamn apologetic and wishy-washy about your choice of word.” Maybe you now understand my Twitter character limitations.) I’ve been trying really hard to free up pockets in my schedule for the things I love doing outside of the writing I love doing for work. Last year I read 52 books; this year I want to read 75. (Will I do it? Probably not. But if a tree falls in the forest and I haven’t guilted it, does it really count?) I have a play I want to finish. There’s a novel I need to keep writing and trash at least one more time and then keep in my drafts folder for at least three months. I’m going to travel. And be super fun with my kids. My house will also be impeccably clean at least four mornings a week.
Maybe the word of the year should instead be “bourbon.”
Hahahahahahaha, just kidding again, you guys.
That was 2016’s word.
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