Disclosure: As a member of Netflix’s Stream Team, I’m here to save your holiday week with programming that truly understands your family. (Even if you don’t.) Although I’m compensated, all thoughts, opinions, and requests to PleaseStopTouchingMe are entirely my own.
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Sometimes you just want to throw a blanket over your head and tune out the world, you know? (Don’t even pretend like you don’t know. You know.)
Netflix feels you. Netflix wants to snuggle up next to you on the couch and second that request for pizza and another episode. But, since Netflix is not an actual person (to the best of my knowledge), the powers that be have provided a chockablock lineup of families you may want to hang out with for the holidays.
I’m not saying that your family isn’t the kind you’d want to avoid around the table.
I’d never say that.
But if…you want to say that? Then here’s a lovely little quiz to help decide which in-your-face bunch is worthy of Grandma’s gravy boat.
How does your clan resolve conflicts?
a) Talk it out. For days. Weeks, even. Think a point wasn’t properly resolved from earlier in the conversation? Let’s bring that one back to forefront.
b) There is, quite literally, no scenario which cannot be hugged out. Don’t roll your eyes at me; I can feel it through the hug.
c) Most problems look better through the bottom of a martini glass. No, you know what? Through the bottom of a martini glass in the next room. With the door closed. (There, don’t you feel closer already?)
Where would your fam be happiest living?
a) A small, quiet town where everything is within walking distance, the coffee flows like even more coffee, and most meetings, if need be, can be held in someone’s actual living room.
b) A bustling big city, with beautiful architecture and the kind of dwellings that we’re just going to go ahead and pretend are affordable for a young family.
c) A subdivision. But a really, really quiet one. If we could be the only home* within shouting distance, that would be great as well. (*Must have actual foundation.)
What’s the best transportation for your gang?
a) With all the caffeine in our systems, we could walk the rings around Saturn.
b) A ferry or good ol’ fashioned trolley ride. Being airplaned around the room is always fun, too.
c) A Segway, an escape boat or, you know what? I’m fine right here, thanks.
Does your family like a soundtrack to their everyday travels?
a) The occasionally folksy “la la” sung as we jaunt from place to place punctuates the charm of our daily existences.
b) Yes! A good, rousing chorus of folks cheerfully singing “Ah ah ah ah” as much as humanly possible really captures our can-do spirit.
c) If it’s not sporadically reminiscent of 1950s sitcoms, could we just stick to omniscient narration, please?
Your ideal family is:
Mostly As: You’re the Gilmores!
(The Stars Hollow branch, that is.) You’re known for being thiscloseallthetime, and have a have a tightly knit community that also feels like family (up to and including the crazy uncles). You’re gonna want to grab your favorite snacks and caffeinated everything, curl up on the couch on November 25th, and binge the brand spankin’ new Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, featuring four seasons of our favorite fast-talking gals and their pals. (Just don’t be late for dinner. Ever.)
Want more Gilmore Girls GIF goodness? Get ’em (and send ’em!) here.
Mostly Bs: You’re the Tanner/Fuller clan!
Admit it, as much as you roll your eyes at the corny jokes and predilection for bear hugs of your family, part of your soul feels complete each and every time. (It’s cool, you don’t have to voice this kind of stuff out loud.) Invite the whole gang into the living room- and onto the long-suffering blue plaid couch- to catch up on Fuller House episodes from Season 1. (Season 2 airs on December 9th! Oh Mylanta.)
Mostly Cs: You’re the Bluths!
Congratulations! (But for legal reasons, let’s just keep that bit of knowledge to yourselves.) Squeeze each other with your bodies for an Arrested Development marathon- all four seasons!- that’ll be Off. The. Hook. Sure, you may bicker like children and dramatic exits are the only way to end an argument but, at the end of the day, family is family. (At least until you get those test results back.)
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To bond with these families- and more, oh so many more- check out the latest lineup of Netflix’s marvelous programming. And take heart: Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of indulging in the food, family, memories, and moments that keep us going the rest of the year long. You’ve got this. It’ll be good preparation for the entire month of December.
Which starts in 11 days.
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