Yes, it’s Tuesday. Yes, I’m going to go ahead and pretend it’s my normal Thursday posting date. (Listen, if recent events have taught me anything, it’s that- quite literally- anything can happen. Today I’m spinning that for good.)
The main reason I’m posting today is to inform my fellow travelers on the internet that my mother, one Deborah J., is celebrating a birthday today. Which really means she’s being regaled throughout the day by her normal daughters, and then sporadically fielding calls from her other daughter, who screams things into the phone like “It’s still your biiirthdaaaay,” and breaking into snippets of Stevie Wonder songs. (“I just caaalled to saaay I loooooove yooooooou…”)
Over the years, you guys have heard me sing my Dad’s praises. And with good reason- he was a ridiculously amazing guy. But have I really lauded my Mama enough to the general public? (She’d probably stop me right there and say I had, please stop, it’s okay, go lay down, but I won’t. Not today. Not on Birthday Day.)
A few years back.
Things You Should Know About My Mom
16) Deb was a Mama Bear before Mama Bear was a hashtagged thing. Parent/teacher conference? Overly aggressive director or coach? You’d best have your accusations and facts lined up like neat, correct little ducklings or you’ll be ripped…in half*. (*Edited for delicate sensibilities.)
15) She played Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” for me in its entirety when I was 12. I’m not saying it completely changed my life, but if you’re wondering why I’m quite so feelingsy…
14) My mother believes wholeheartedly in the restorative power of “just putting on a little lipstick.”
13) Her laugh, when truly earned, will go on to be the only laugh you’ll ever really, really work for.
12) Speaking of which, ask her to tell a joke. No, really. It’s worth it.
11) Although she loves her Hallmark movies, she’ll take time out of their holiday rotation schedule to revisit her favorite DVRd episodes and Netflix shows…before going back to immerse herself fully in the world of her Hallmark movies. (“I just love them.”)
10) That said, she’s the one who would also play those old Nick and Nora movies for me. So you could say that I pretty much named my firstborn after her. Or for her. Or for something she’d watch with me while ensuring that I’d just go lay down for a while. (It was a theme.)
9) That that said, you’ve really gotta watch The Birdcage with that woman some time. (See: #4)
8) Lady is a pool shark. I’ve only challenged her once. Once. (I could still use a little salve for that burn.)
7) Comfort food is not so much a sweet idea as it is the only idea and you’ll eat every single one of your favorite foods since childhood and you will be comforted. (And the crazy part is- you totally will. And you’ll go back for dessert and second dinner and she’ll still be up before you in the morning making that egg sandwich on pumpernickel you like.)
6) She says she’s rotten at baking, but then can you please explain those walnut rolls to me?
5) My Mom met Alice Cooper once (or Vincent Damon Furnier, if you’re playing along at home and care about accuracy) and said he was just the nicest guy.
4) (Have I mentioned that she was a rocker’s girlfriend- and later wife- while the band toured and partied and hung out with people like, say, Alice Cooper/Vincent Damon Furnier?)
3) She has the ability to type out an entire email in the subject heading of samesuch email. (How else are you gonna save room in the body of the email for a single xox?)
2) She’s a proud, loyal, devoted, and adoring matriarch (even though, holy moly, can we all agree that word is awful?) and can tell you- with pinpoint accuracy- what each of her kids, grandkids, and sons-in-law are up to and how many minutes late their flight is.
1) My Mom is our absolute rock, and is deserving of all the love and joy and beautiful moments that exist on this rock. Happy birthday, Mom/Mim/Deborah; you wear many hats- and most of them are purple.
They all look really, really good on you.
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