Today, the world’s most perfect Philip Joseph is 35. Thirty-five. Considering what a youthful youth he was when we first met, that number seems positively made up. (But as Suzy pointed out last night, I’ll always be older. And as P.J. pointed out- much older.)
Since we first started celebrating birthdays together, I’ve made a habit of emailing him throughout the day and listing the reasons I’m downright bonkers for him. (It was a tad easier in his middle twenties, list-wise.) This year, however, I’m posting the whole kit n’ caboodle for the world to see, gag at, and perhaps schmaltz along with. (Can you imagine being married to this kind of nonstop sentimentality? I’m surprised he doesn’t keep a flask under his pillow. Confidential to PJS: …Do you?)
P.J., I’m so incredibly glad you were born. Why?
Oh, here’s a little list!
- Even before you were a Dad, you had Dad Humor.
- Your razor-sharp inside jokes are pretty baller, too.
- You have the ability to whistle like it’s a professional sound effect in a 1950s cartoon. (I envy this like you would not even believe.)
- The dance moves you bust out at the slightest provocation are marvelous. And all in.
- You can talk to anyone, anywhere, about any little thing and sound like a pro.
- You can talk anyone, anywhere into any little thing and make them think it was their idea.
- However, you listen- really listen– to people with a capacity I never believed existed.
- There’s still no other boy I wanna kiss more than you.
- [These next three redacted for the sensibilities of my readers.]
- …
- …
- That said, if Idris Elba happened to show up on our doorstep, you’d cheerfully send me out for, ah, dinner and drinks with a nod and a “have her home by midnight!” I respect that. (Just as I respect your ‘get out of jail free’ list.)
- Your musical prowess- ranging from hipster deep cuts to finding that perfect Steve Winwood song for that perfect Steve Winwood moment- never fails to delight.
- Your eyes are the perfect shade of green. Seriously, that whole “sea glass meets burnished gold?” Gorgeous. It’s one of my saddest DNA failings that not one of our kids got that color. (But since they took every other last bit of your genetics, we can be cool with this one.)
- I can’t imagine vacationing with anyone else (and not just out of necessity, either). Seeing the world through your observations is enlightening and inspiring.
- Getting drunk while vacationing with you is pretty hilarious, too.
- You have the sweet tooth of a ten year-old.
- At the same time, you remind me of my Dad. You remind me SO much of my Dad. (That’s one of the highest compliments I possess.)
- You rock a pinstriped suit and faded blue hoodie with equal aplomb.
- You have a lucky number. And not even in a jokey way. You have a lucky number and you totally respect its power.
- I love your voice when you sing; bedtime lullabies to our kids, Springsteen on Saturday mornings, and every single thing sung in that lower register you softly use while driving us all over the country (with your kids occasionally snoozing in the backseat).
- Your decor preferences run to minimalism, neutrals, and classic styles, yet you consistently roll home with bright furnishings for our home. (And those Hello Kitty coloring pages given the place of honor on your office wall? I know those aren’t in any GQ office photo array, but you realize their importance, nonetheless.)
- Even though I yell about it All. The. Time, you get us where we’re going really fast. (It’s mostly awesome.)
- You can fix anything. House-wise, tech-wise, feelings-wise.
- Your movie obsession pays off in a) encyclopedic knowledge and b) being able to provide the perfect cinematherapy at the drop of a hat/DVD.
- As a father, you’re the coolest, most hands-on, “sure we’ll get ice cream” kind of guy.
- Your son models your behavior and will respect everyone as a citizen of the world.
- (Your daughters model your behavior and will respect everyone as a citizen of the world.)
- As a brother, friend, and son, you’re a stand-up guy who holds his beliefs close and his loved ones even closer.
- As a husband? Oh, we’ll need a whole new list.
- You mix the meanest drink ever.
- Related: you’re the best baker and cook because you follow recipes to the nth degree. (Times infinity. It drives me bonkers, but that banana bread is off the HOOK.)
- You are kind. You are so incredibly kind to everyone: strangers, family, friends, and even people you’ll never meet in person.
- Generous, too, which should be diametrically opposed to your coupon-happy ways…but it really isn’t in the slightest.
- I see you as a 55, 75, 95 year-old…and something in my soul quiets. (Because I already know how you’ll be as an old person since we’re currently already old people and it’ll be SO GREAT to watch Murder, She Wrote while we eat supper at 4am on our matching Barcaloungers.)
(Happy birthday, you terrific human, you.)
Speak Your Mind