Disclosure: This is a post sponsored by Savers thrift stores, but all thoughts, opinions, and giddy reactions to forest creatures are entirely my own.
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Every so often, my writing gigs make me downright euphoric. Case in point- I love telling people about Savers (and Value Village) thrift stores. I love it. Not only are the wares caaarefully checked over to make sure they’re not a) ripped, b) dirty, or c) ripped and dirty, but the Savers teams also work with local nonprofits. So I’m pretty sure you could say that I’m being a philanthropist by shopping there.
And when I was asked to promote the idea of #Thriftmas (which, you guys, I just flipping love anyhow), there was one clear answer. (Yes.) And one clear question. (P.J. said I had to come back home, so, there’s that.)
Here are some of my favorite finds, white elephant trophies (just perfect for Secret Santa exchanges and office awesomeness), and things I really wish I owned. (There’s a bunch of overlap, just so you know.)
Animal-Themed Glory:
Ohhhh, animal gifts get me every time. (If you’re reading this and nodding along, you’ve probably witnessed me crying real tears over a gilded ceramic hedgehog measuring cup. For example.)
Starting clockwise:
- Oh! It’s um…so, it’s a vase with, um, let’s call them cougars. Bronze cougars. With uncomfortably well-defined musculature. You know what this is perfect for? Me neither. Please tell me if you know.
- A garden dragonfly with spookily big eyes! This is a great gift for the gardener in your life, you know, the one whom you don’t really know all that well aside from the fact that they- probably- spend a good deal of time outdoors. Where, you know, they probably see bugs. Relevance!
- Chia Pet. Elephant. I can’t even make a joke, you guys, I would step over my children for this one.
- There are few things more endearing than a dragon who’s just had a day, amiright? Curled up in the fetal position, kinda sad, wondering what it all even means, but…oh man, not as alone as he had previously thought! ‘Cause there’s three of them.
- Nothing is more irritating than a squirrel who believes he is above the law. This squirrel truly believes he is above the law.
Other Things:
And then here’s a collage of gifts which- ha ha- aren’t they hilarious- no, please, I actually crave most of them. My Secret Santa: bookmark this page.
- Let’s start in the center: An embroidered pillow, proclaiming both “Alaska” and “attached neon seal.” a) A pillow that features a stuffed animal head in the center is probably super uncomfortable to sleep upon. b) I never realized the Northern Lights were contagious.
- And now, clockwise: A one foot-tall, brassy sailboat. This is an ideal gift for any sailors you know; the ones who’ve never actually actively sailed. Because true Sailboat People are wealthy. And their bookshelf sailboats are pure 14k gold.
- Do you know why this ballerina moonlights as a bookend? Because her right arm is twice as long as her left leg and her right leg can’t be contained to a single stage. It’s okay, though. She really wants to direct.
- This set of glass jars is actually quite sweet- except the “coffee” jar is laughably tiny. Why is it the smallest size? It should be as big as the industrial shelving in this section of the store. (And ah, that ol’ trio of flour, coffee n’ tea. Always store them together, that’s what my Mom says!)
- A perfect vase or a perfect Long Island iced tea glass? Slightly too small for one and slightly too big for the other. (Hahahaha, I’m just kidding. This is just the right size for a Long Island iced tea.)
- I have nothing funny to say about this pristine recycling truck with moving parts, realistic sounds, and a rear compartment that actually empties…except that it was $3.99 in the toy department and will be under our tree for Jasper on Christmas morning. YOUR MOVE, ELVES.
- These brass stocking holders are actually stunning so I picked one up for a closer look- and then fell on the ground because each one weighs as much as an actual brick of gold bullion. Why? What possible purpose could this serve? (And yes, I’m fine. Thank you for asking. #NeverForget)
- This is a mighty specific liquid soap dispenser. And soap dispensers are not the easiest thing to empty. (Okay, I’ve never done it.) Are you actually telling me I have to clear this thing out to be wrapped with my glass ornaments every January? I’ll just add it to the ol’ checklist. Forget writing thank you notes, I’ll just spent an entire day preventing Conehead Santa from mildewing under the stairs. FA LA LA.
- If you tell me you don’t really, really need this set of Garfield and Odie mugs, I will look into your eyes and call your bluff. Why are you even lying to me?
I’m pretty sure I just completed the rest of your holiday shopping, no? No? Yes. Yes. Go find your local Savers right this instant. They’re having discounts and extra special savings on top of their already ridiculous[ly wonderful] prices.
But if you’re looking for a shiftily grinning white ceramic squirrel, it won’t be there. No reason.
(Confidential to one of my family members: You are gonna love what’s under the tree this year.)
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