Disclaimer: As a member of Netflix’s #StreamTeam, I get to wax poetic about everything Netflix-related, curated, and marvelous. This month’s theme is #5MoreMinutes, and we’re all laughing about the myriad of ways our kids Just. Won’t. Go. To. Bed. (Netflix’s idea? Let them watch a “whole” show, especially if that show is one of Netflix and DreamWorks Animation’s Dinotrux 5 Minute Favorites.What a kind parent you are.) As always, all thoughts, opinions, and- sigh- nutso children are entirely my own.
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Having nannied for close to a decade, I thought I’d seen everything. Having parented my first child, I thought I’d seen everything. But until I’d been Suzied (that is, parent to my second kiddo Suzy), I hadn’t really seen it all.
I’d seen stall tactics.
I’d heard ploys. (And footfalls overhead way past “lights out”.)
And I’d stifled laughter. So much laughter, you guys. But nothing comes close to the night when Suzy decided she had the perfect “stay out of bed” plan.
We had put the girls to bed at 7:30, like usual. Five year-old Nora and three year-old Susannah chatted softly and assured us that they were moments from sleep. (Actually, I have no idea what they told us- I was ready to faceplant into my own bed.) P.J. and I went to our room and embarked on the all-important nightly parenting routine of folding clothes, idly gossiping about people we know, and Facebooking for at least an hour…when we heard footsteps in the hall.
Now, we knew it wasn’t Nora. Because until Suzy moved in with her, Nora hadn’t had the foggiest idea that leaving the bed was something that people could even do. (THANKS, SUSANNAH.) We braced ourselves for the stern talking-to that one of us would have to give, and mentally drew straws. But Suzy didn’t enter our room, oh no, her lovey monkey did.
In fact, he was flung in. Then there was silence. Then a blonde head poked into our room and babbled about how she couldn’t fall asleep until she found her monkey- oh, there is he. Thank you, goodnight.
“Go to bed, Susannah.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Exeunt.
Five minutes later (I swear someone gave that kid a stopwatch), our bedroom door cracked open. Geo the monkey flew in. Silence. Blondie- “Has anyone seen my…oh, there he is! Goodnight!”
This went on for far too long, mainly because P.J. and I both thought it was sheer brilliance. Girl had a plan and it was working! Eventually he kiboshed it and forcibly tucked her back into bed.
But not before getting video.
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Netflix would love to know what your kiddo’s favorite bedtime evasions and ploys for #FiveMoreMinutes are! (I’m pretty curious, too.)
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