Em, my youngest sister, is many things: intelligent, compassionate, adventurous…
…But she’s also absolute hell on her gadgets. This is not hyperbole. She’s practically an X-Men (Man?) with her ability to destroy a smartphone.
- There was the time she was interning at the New England Aquarium and discovered that- while pretty- the sight of a pink flip phone drifting to the bottom of a tank doesn’t interest the jellyfish or sea nettles in the slightest. (Rice couldn’t help her.)
- Or the incident where she was running late for a college class, and so she actually began to run…and that’s when her cheapie flip flops gave out, smacking her into the ground and smashing her phone into multiple pieces (earning her some passerby applause). While duct-taped back together, she reports that the thing never quite worked the same way again.
- Once, during a “disagreement” with her boyfriend, her phone somehow left her hand, gracefully flew through the air like a dove…and landed like a brick. (Into a brick wall.)
- She lived on a boat for a few weeks for a semester at sea- and shockingly, the salt water had a pretty terrible effect on the usual functions of a phone. (On, off, making actual calls.)
- Then, she was absolutely certain that her phone was lost forever- maybe even stolen- but found it four days later. In her room. Under a pile of clothes. Next to her bed. (Editorial: That’s a wicked long time for a pile of clothes to be left next to a person’s bed, Emily. End editorial.)
- My favorite, however, is the completely Emily-tastic evening where she and her boyfriend were walking home along the Charles River after a few happy hour drinks. My sis, after deciding that she really had to pee, had her boyfriend act as lookout as she dropped trou by the river. Unfortunately, the presence of those samesuch happy hour drinks comprised her ability to determine where she had placed her phone- and so she kinda peed all over it. She then nudged it out of the way- she says- but it slid down the riverbank and became submerged in the not-so-clean Charles River. (I’m impressed that she even bothered with the rice trick after that one.)
Me, on the right, with Emily. The phone murderer.
So yes, these things happen. Quite often. But thankfully for all you Emily Empathizers out there, there’s a wonderful company named Asurion– and their sole mission is to protect your gadgets. No matter what.
Asurion estimates that over 5 billion dollars worth of phones are lost or stolen (…or peed upon) every year. And with the statistic that top-of-the-line phones (the kind that get replaced with each and every new version) are 35% more likely to get stolen, it’s good to know that folks with a 5 or 5s iPhone (for example) could save 500 bucks on a replacement with Asurion protection- considering that a new iPhone can run you $850, that’s kinda nice.
Some more facts:
- Only 50% of Americans password-protect their phones. (PEOPLE! PASSWORD-PROTECT YOUR PHONES!) And 43% of people never back up their phones. (SAME THING GOES.)
- 32% of Americans change their passwords once a year.
- 50% of peeps would rather be locked out of their car than have something happen to their phone.
- And y’all, most of us store rather sensitive info on our phones (pictures, passwords, automatically logged-in accounts) and would rather not have this stuff in the hands of the thieving population.
Have I not convinced you? Okie doke- here’s a hilarious video:
Listen, Asurion provides gadget protection against theft and loss- sure. But it also gives you piece of mind for those things totally out of our control…like submerging a gadget into a mammoth aquarium tank, for example.
Or- again- peeing on it.
Go find the plan that’s right for you. Or- better yet- find the plan that’s right for Emily.
And then rest assured that you’ll be totally fine.
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For more information, visit http://on.fb.me/XB9MF0.
This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Asurion.
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