So far, I’ve identified with two.
And, while I’m sure it’s been done- perhaps even better- I’ve decided to try my hand at my own list. Feel free to comment with your own additions. For there are thousands upon thousands of items to be added. So, without further ado…ahem…
Shiz Moms Say To Other Moms
-Oh, we’re entirely BPA-free.
-We also only own wooden toys.
-He doesn’t sleep through the night yet?
-She still uses a pacifier?
-A bottle?
-A diaper?
-A booster seat?
-You think you’re tired now? Try having two.
-Three.
-Four.
-Multiples.
-School-aged kids.
-Oh, is that organic?
-I’m surprised you let her drink juice.
-Cow’s milk.
-Tap water.
-You let them eat meat?
-Sugar?
-Carbs?
-My son eats everything.
-She has never even seen a chicken nugget.
-Enjoy it now. This is the easy age.
-She’s strictly breastfed.
-You couldn’t pay me to breastfeed.
-Where does she go to school?
-Did she start at two?
-Is it Waldorf?
-How much a semester?
-You are so lucky to stay home all day.
(-You are so lucky to get to leave the house all day.)
-You’re pretty lax on the TV thing, aren’t you?
-We only listen to NPR.
-This isn’t our usual park.
-We’re late for Music Together.
-Gymboree.
-Fairytale Ballet.
-Oh, he can count to twenty in German.
-She walked at seven months.
-He’s actually pretty advanced for three.
-Our nanny is teaching the kids Mandarin.
-Our nanny is getting her PhD in Early Childhood Education.
-Our nanny is sick again.
-He was named after my favorite French opera.
-A Viennese art critic.
-A bus stop in Madrid.
-What percentile is she?
-Are you concerned about her weight?
-Height?
-Thumb-sucking?
-Well, if your doctor isn’t worried, then I wouldn’t be either.
(-You’ll see.)
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| Who would SAY that to you?! |
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