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| THIS is what “30s With Kids” looks like. Hoodies and kitchen floors. Nary a sensible handbag. |
Okay, now I’m not one to dwell [overmuch, publicly] on things, but…
Seriously. The ending of the seventh Harry Potter movie (Part 2, if you will, of The Deathly Hallows). And I swear that this is not a spoiler. Not unless you like wardrobe choice to be a tightly held secret. (Like a royal wedding!)
Yeah, yeah, Voldemort (we can say his name now, yes?) and Snape and Harry Potter and yesyesyes, all of that.
But that last scene on the train platform? Nineteen years have passed. The “kids” are sending their own kids off to Hogwarts. They are a mere five years older than I am at the very time of this posting.
So why are they so frumpy and old-looking?
It looks like they’re playing dress-up. Ginny Weasley has a sensible bob and the mommiest purse I’ve ever seen in my life. Ron has a paunch and a wide forehead. Harry has prosthetic wrinkles (wrinkles!!) and a blazer. HERMIONE HAS HER HAIR IN A FRENCH TWIST.
Seriously. I understand that they needed some props to age these youngsters, but really? P.J. and I discussed what we’d be wearing if we drove to the train station to see our kids off to boarding school; jeans and hoodies. Same as we wear every day. And sure, the Harry Potter kids have been wearing that very outfit since movie One. So it wouldn’t really have the aging effect the studio was looking for, I get that.
But there is an awfully big difference between looking 36 and looking 76. (There is, isn’t there? Tell me there is. Would I look that old on a train platform? Tell me my butt wouldn’t look that wide as I embraced by 11 year-old. TELL ME.)
I saw this movie exactly a week ago. And I am haunted- HAUNTED- by this scene. Basically what the film industry is telling me is that- barring turning yourself into some sort of “real” housewife or glamorously and vigorously anti-aging yourself into a Botoxed wonder- the rest of us jerks look like this in their mind’s eye.
At 36.
I am going Sexy Purse shopping.
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