Okay, the whole “dibs” thing really needs to end. Like a week ago. For those not in the greater Chicagoland area or not aware of the debilitating bonkertude that a day and change of snow can inflict, I am not speaking of those delicious chocolate covered ice cream wonders. Those are permitted.
I am speaking, of course, about every single one of my neighbors and their household furniture. Holding parking spots. Ones that they’d shoveled. TWO WEEKS AGO. Sure, I totally get it. Some people couldn’t even see their cars after the Great Snow. And I agree, if you spent the three hours necessary to undo the damage that a blizzard plus a snowplow digging a single file lane down the street by way of coating your vehicle with more snow, then sure. By all rights if you run to the store, it should be waiting for you when you come back. The next day when you return home work? Okay, fine. I’ll give you that. Maybe you had a hard day and your arms are still screaming at you from the previous day’s workout. But to expect that “your” spot stay available through the weekend? Dude. People need to go to brunch. Sometimes that involves parking. You may have to move the stroller/folding chair amalgamation that is currently marking your domain like so much pee.
And now? Two weeks later? It’s 60 degrees. There are rivers of melting snow washing away your grandpa’s walker. (Doesn’t he NEED that walker?) Put your questionable belongings back into your foyer and let’s all pretend that we don’t know how many laundry baskets you own.
No one pities your inability to find parking on a damp street.
Onward. My darling daughter Nora went out yesterday without a hat. For the first time since she began walking. (This is true- she took her initial steps mere days after she turned one. The next day? Whomp. Frostbitten baldish head.) The mild temps shocked the both of us on our jaunt to Cermak Produce, so I whipped off her whimsical animal-eared cap and encouraged her to let some breezes tousle that tuft of hair. Maybe take some deep, cleansing breaths- but not towards the alley. Or Montrose.
She reacted the way any stoic Chicagoan would after a particularly bitter stretch of winter- she began to laugh. And squeal. (Sure, the baby noises o’ happy are reserved for a special group of smallish person- not necessarily Chicago At Large- but she embodied what I was feeling as well.) After a few moments of joy, she stared mistrustfully at the clear sky and sunshine, wondering Just What Was Their Game. She then jolted and peered over her shoulder each and every time a gentle wind would tickle her ears.
Perhaps the abrupt (and temporary) change of seasons has made her more than a little crazy. Perhaps her parents’ decision to live in the Midwest has given her a lifetime of nervous twitches.
But just wait ’til Real Spring and…dare I jinx it? SUMMER. The ability to run around barefoot- in specific locales- and watch [fewer] outdoor films and eat unhealthy stick foods at street festivals and splash in the positively frigid lake waters… Oh, I cannot wait. And dearest N.J., you’re gonna forget winter. You will. It’ll be like the last ten months didn’t grate on your nerves like so much rock salt on the floors.
It’ll be fabulous. Maybe we can even built a sweet fort from all the Dibs debris.
I call the ironing board.
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And I gotta do one final blogesque plug: this is the last post before The Bloggies voting closes. Go! Go now! I promise not to say anything too meaningful in the last couple of sentences.
Truly. You’re only missing this one bit.
And this. Okay, I think we both know that I can just do this all day. Be the bigger person, please.
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