I am tired.
I haven’t been this tired since- well, never, I guess. Which is a horribly constructed sentence. As was that one.
Here’s a bit of a confession: I never, not even once, pulled an all-nighter in college. Nope. Never needed to. Most of my classes were tailored towards subjects and habits in which I already excelled; crazy amounts of reading each night, papers about my feelings (like a blog!), projects and presentations wherein I basically got to make ’em laugh, show some shiny objects, and make it home in time for my afternoon nap. Not that I glided, but…I certainly wasn’t pushing myself towards the Accelerated Sciences. Which we did have. I’ve heard.
Sure, I stayed up waaay too late working on shows, a fabulous TV series or two, the occasional layout meeting for one of the school’s papers (the awesome one)- but those were fun. And I could sleep in until dinner the next day.
But this- this is new. This kinda eyelids-propped-up-by-toothpicks, accidentally-drooling-on-someone-ELSE’s-shirt type of sleepy? Unheard of. It’s so outside the realm of my imagination that, for the past few days, I’ve been absolutely certain I’m coming down with something horrific.
Sure, having a new kid is exhausting. Work also makes one tired. Owning a home? Absolutely. But- as our baby has slept through the night since one month of age (sorry), the kiddos at work have been Super Helpers, AND nothing has fallen apart on the house recently…I was sure that something else was up.
So I Googled my symptoms.
As it turns out, a combination of fatigue, slight queasiness, tiredness (apparently different than fatigue- I was surprised) and body aches could be indicators of the following:
-Pregnancy (I am not. I promise this. Although, cosmically, I do have it coming for joking about it.)
-Juvenile Diabetes (Or Diabeetus, as Wilford Brimley says. This is most likely not the case, however.)
-Apricot seed poisoning (Hmm.)
-Cherry seed poisoning (!!)
-Clubbed toes (I think I would have put “clubbing of my toes” as a symptom, thankyouverymuch)
-Sudden death (This is a disease? Apparently, a warning sign for this is- I am so serious- “truck accident.”)
P.J. suggested that perhaps I was just really tired. I responded with a Fatality from Mortal Kombat. (Okay, not really. I keep forgetting to hold down ‘B’.) I then proceeded to microwave ABSOLUTELY NOTHING- for two minutes- and look around the kitchen for where I put a nonexistent bowl for the next ten. I followed that up by demanding that P.J. make some brownies and, when he awesomely did, I forgot that he wanted to have some of the batter bowl, too. Yep, I ate the whole thing. Didn’t even realize that I had any until he asked me where it went. At this point, so overcome with guilt, exhaustion and, let’s be honest, confusion, I began to cry like my arm was broken AND had just found out that there was no Tooth Fairy.
I’ve never seen a guy’s jaw drop so fast.
Since then, the past couple of days have been pretty cool. Sure, I’m still totally wiped, but now I have a husband who treats me extraordinarily delicately, kinda like a mental patient. This is not [entirely] necessary, but it has yielded some great dinners- one of which is something we’ve dubbed “engagement pasta” (nice try, buddy, I’m not falling for that one again)- and some special Jewel trips for yums which contain no nutritional value whatsoever. But make the soul feel good.
Also, when our daughter decided to wake up and say hello waaay earlier than was kind, P.J. went and hung out with her for a bit. This is a) really sweet and b) probably the safer option, as I was swatting at the baby monitor like a wayward alarm clock.
“What is that,” I asked, looking for all the world like a stunned, trapped opossum.
“Nora,” P.J. said, already holding our diapered and swaddled baby.
Have I mentioned how great he is? He’s great.
So today I will make him dinner, pack him a sandwich for tomorrow, do some of his laundry, bathe the child (okay, that last one isn’t really for HIM, per se, but she is kinda stinky) and try my darndest to not harm the homestead in any way. It’s the little things that make a marriage work.
OH! And before I forget- hahahahaha- it’s recently come to my attention that some fans o’ the blog (people I’m not even RELATED to!) weren’t aware that there’s both a Monday and a Thursday posting. It’s true. All this- twice a week! My goodness. That’s a lot of minutiae and ramblings from a gal who- let’s be honest- should really be doing about eighty other things.
Like the dishes.
Or writing something for which she could get paid.
Or- wait a sec- why is the fridge open?
Speak Your Mind