I am so sorry. For real real. My method of writing (stories, plays, etc.,) is generally “plunk, plink, typetypetype…nap.” (Not blogging, for these works of art pretty much write themselves.) But lately, faced with timetables, deadlines, upcoming events where I need an actual script in hand and so forth, I’ve been forcing myself to sit and write through the boredom, write through the finger cramps, write through the days of having nothing to say whatsoever. This makes for one unhappy writer and dozens of repeated sentences (and a few ‘the the’ moments as well.)
Also, as this has been the stretch of time where no children nap AT ALL, it’s been hard to find that elusive muse long enough to even poke her in the eye. (I’m guessing that would take a minute or so, I have no idea. I haven’t seen her. Also, is she faster than me?)
The shortest recap ever (for me, at least. I’m wordy):
Friday- No one slept. It rained a ton and we had sushi with fantabulous people. Also drinks. And one high-stakes game of pool in which no less than three people sunk the 8 ball on separate occasions.)
Saturday- Still raining so we decided to see some houses for sale. (The logic fairy was on holiday with the pokey-eye muse.) Some were so bad it felt like the beginning of a Law & Order episode. (PJ: Let’s see this house! Keely: I don’t know, it looks awful creepy…and there’s no floor. PJ: Think of the potential! Look, it has a window- and a space for a door, and a fridge, and maybe a new staircase… Keely: Oh my God, is that a body?! PJ: Someone call the cops…(aside to realtor) You said this one is under 200k? That’s a steal!) And then we watched ‘Harry and the Hendersons.’
Sunday- So much more rain. Our house was dank and my office windows leaked brown sludge. I painted picture frames, accidentally hammered a nail into the floor and listened to Kansas’ ‘Point of Know Return.’ I tried to write a mystery, but got overwhelmed by a scene where dozens of people were in a ballroom for a convention and no crime had yet been committed. For the third day in a row. P.J. played Zelda on the Wii for fourteen hours, but as he didn’t get mad at the hole I hammered into the floor, I let it slide.
Monday- No rain…but also no naps (just so you don’t think I’m complaining about MY lack of naps I’d like to point out that there are six children under six who are NOT SLEEPING. Neither am I, but I’m fairly fully formed! Aren’t they worried about brain development?) That night P.J. had a market research survey where he made $100 for answering questions about light beer. I stayed home and finally got at least five of the characters out of the ballroom but sadly everything is still on the legitimate side of the law. Sigh.
Tuesday- OhmyGodnonaps. I compensated by eating a ton of carbs. (It worked! I was comforted!) Got nothing of note accomplished except for wiping two noses 800 times and changing twice as many diapers full of poo. (If not me, then who? That was my mantra. Also, “carboloading.”) Last night P.J. and I took a walk to Starbucks to get a cider (he decided that I’d had enough caffeine for the week) and we stopped at Mario & Gino’s for one final gelato huzzah. Key lime pie! It must have done the trick because when we returned home one person was killed off and a small child was kidnapped! Hooray! Characters, of course. Obviously.
Wednesday- LILY TOOK A NAP! I’ve always loved her best. (Note to the other parents- that’s so not true. YOU know who my favorite child(s) is.) I actually wrote a scene in which a detective did some detecting. With a bumbling sidekick! And a dame! And comedic hijinks ensuing.
Looks like she may settle down for a second nap (is it my birthday or something?) so I’m going to try to write some more. But I’ll leave you with this little bit of exciting news (I have to be careful where I write that…if I typed that on Facebook I’d be flooded with questions about when my baby was due.) My next post? It’s totally about animal husbandry. And a real live call that my brother-in-law had. And the real live grossed out comments that my sister made while said bro was relaying the conversation. Yes. Keep your eyes peeled for that bit of literary awesomeness. For it’ll read like Tolstoy.
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