I am concerned. There’s this new(ish) sunscreen spray, it’s by Neutrogena and it’s a completely great product. It’s also decidedly in an aerosol can. When did this become okay again? Regardless of how cooling a mist, is it not the same type of awful that brought about holes in the ozone layer and the demise of hair metal upon its departure? (Just a speculation. But really, the end of teased hair and the beginning of grungy, greasy tresses? It cannot be a coincidence.) And before you tell me that the US has stopped using ozone-depleting substances for aerosol products in the late 70s, rest assured that I know this. But I do not believe it. How else could you explain the mass swap to Suave pump hairspray in the Flynn household, circa 1993? Something bad must have been circulating in the media, perhaps something of which only the citizens of Pittsfield, Massachusetts must have been aware. Maybe it was like Beaver Fever. That was when all the beavers got sick in the county and peed in our city water. Then people got super sick. That’s how it happened, right Mom? I have no idea what I’m talking about anymore.
Now I’m peckish.
August 20, 2008 By 2 Comments
Last night on the train I had the joy of standing next to three truly awful people. (I should start a blog about terrible people on the eL. I would have to post thrice daily.) Anyhow, these gals were drunk and loud and ornery; the trifecta of transit (which would be a good name for a band.) One of them managed to say the phrase “I made SO much pasta salad” no less than eight times. She repeated the same story and the words “pasta salad” so often that I feared she either had Turrets or was indeed Rain Man. The best part was when her friend (who had been leaning bodily on the plexiglass divider- ew ew EW) remembered that her pal was intolerant to gluten and asked, “So what did you do with all of the EXTRA PASTA IN YOUR HOUSE?” ‘Oh,” her friend nonchalantly replied. “I made a ton of pasta salad.” And the third clued us in (by shouting into her cell) about the dude and his girlfriend that she “…almost slapped ’cause they were all like ‘what.” What? What were they like? Did they bring a side dish of their own? And they were all rather large members of society. Which is completely fine. Unless you also believe you’re ridiculously hot and that somehow allows for your inability to speak in hushed tones. (And if you think about it, even the gals on The Hills- of which I can only distinguish from seeing magazine covers, truly, I may be thinking of the wrong show- aren’t allowed that sort of activity without scathing repercussions. And they are tiny humans.) Even worse, they shoved and elbowed an elderly man and his wife! (The large trio, not the girls on The Hills. I don’t keep tabs on them.) Sit your big pasta salad bum down, I felt like saying! But instead I wrote a post, which I really think is better for everyone in the long run. They were spared the public shame and I was able to keep my fear of confrontation under wraps.
And hi to Olivia! The way to a girl’s heart is to post on her Facebook wall extolling the virtues of her blog. You already know that, of course, being so smart and all. (But we are totally evenly matched in Scramble, so don’t get too comfy.)
Time to go rock the Spidey Slip n’ Slide! Answering, of course, the age old question: What do you DO all day at work? (Probably the same as you, only damper.)
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