My darling Nora Jane, Happy birthday. Happy fifth birthday. I remember the night before you were born, how excited and scared I was for the whatever the heck was about to happen to just HAPPEN. I remember sitting on the operating room, awaiting a spinal, and feeling so positively terrified at my imminent c-section and parenthood and whose ridiculous idea was this, anyhow, and NO, I DID NOT THINK I WAS FEELING THIS SO MUCH ANYMORE, I was going to {Read More}
The Third C-Section Wasn’t All That Bad…
February 10, 2014 By 6 Comments
(…And Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say.) Over the weekend I was out celebrating the birthday of my friend Maurya (happy birthday, Maurya!), and we got on the topic of childbirth. I mentioned that, surprisingly enough, my still-recent-enough-to-be-memorable third c-section was actually kind of easy. She told me that I oughta blog about it since, well, you never hear that kind of thing. (And she’s right, seeing as I spent the prior nine months Googling things like “How often do {Read More}
A Birth Story. Now With More Drugs!
December 23, 2013 By 24 Comments
Pals, as this is my third kid’s birth story, I thought I’d employ the technique of telling the tale in anecdote form. It’ll also be much more linear than anything my post-op drugged mind could otherwise manage. You’re welcome. December 19th, 2013: -I got roughly three hours of sleep the night before, what with anxiety, last minute stuff, and positively abdomen-crushing Braxton Hicks cramps. (But not labor, ha ha! Just fake labor!) -The surgery was originally scheduled for 2:30pm (meaning I’d have {Read More}
One Year Ago Today…
October 3, 2012 By 5 Comments
…This was me. I was just about as pregnant as this lady is physically allowed to get…and you can tell. Not only by the watermelon protruding from my abdominal cavity, but also by the look in my eyes. Even through dark sunglasses, you can tell that this is a woman Who. Is. Done. I had been [erroneously, I think] diagnosed with gestational diabetes. (By one point! The Russian judge was unimpressed.) I was Done with eating sugarless “treats.” I was {Read More}
The Story Of The Monkey.
October 7, 2011 By 9 Comments
So this is the story of Susannah Mae. I will attempt to toe the line between crazy gory details (’cause there are people who really, really wanna know) and uh, non-crazy gory details. ‘Cause there are definitely people who DON’T. And pardon in advance my odder-than-usual vernacular, as well as the moments where I appear to be trailing off mid-sent… The drugs are my friends. Anyway. On the morning of the 4th, we set our alarms for 5am, knowing that we {Read More}
T Minus WHAT?!
October 3, 2011 By 7 Comments
Donesville. Okay, this is getting nuts. By tomorrow morning at this time- if all goes according to plan- I will be holding the newest member of the mini Schoeny family. Which blows my mind right outta my head and plops it onto the dining room table, which I have yet to stop dusting. It’s very strange to know precisely when your pregnancy will be done. And at the same time, you almost wish you’d go into labor (regardless of how wonky {Read More}
Someone Bring Me A Dustmop. Or A Pillow.
September 15, 2011 By 2 Comments
Putting on brass knuckles. I should not be left to my own devices. This includes all of the times where Nora is napping, I am caught up on household dirtiness, writing deadlines are breezed through, and P.J. is off doing something P.J.-like (i.e., watching Mad Men, showering, or building a door frame). What, you ask? There are times when all of these forces align and you find yourself with free pockets of the day, gaps of the afternoon and/or early {Read More}
Well, THAT was crazy!
November 5, 2009 By 10 Comments
(And look- it’s Thursday! Sure, Thursday night, but still the right blogging day!) Ain’t nothin’ gonna break-a my stride!) So, um, I had a baby! And here’s how it went down: After my morning last Thursday of cleaning everything- twice- and overpacking for a three night stay at the most luxurious of hospitals EVER (and P.J.’s “working from home,” which, God bless him, he really did try to do), we headed downtown. On the way, we said things like, “wouldn’t {Read More}
