Firstly, let me terrify everyone who may be having a child within the next nine months… Have you read about the woman who got pregnant WHILST pregnant? http://gmy.news.yahoo.com/For serious, this is a bit much. One woman, pregnant- twice- within three weeks. PUT HER HUSBAND IN ANOTHER ROOM, PLEASE! No matter how “rare” the doctors say this may be, *one* case within earshot of my pregnancy is entirely one too many. Pretty much the only perk of the first trimester is {Read More}
Kinda like Buy One Get One Free…
September 17, 2009 By 2 Comments
…of a really bizarre infomercial product… …for which you ended up paying a ton of shipping anyhow! Week 33. TWO classes this week, folks. That’s right. Double your awesome info. Starting with Tuesday…a.k.a. INFANT AND CHILD CPR AND FIRST AID NIGHT. Now, I’ve been a nanny for seven years and know (roughly) how to keep a kid alive. But a refresher course is a refresher course, especially considering a lot of this “practical” knowledge will fly straight out of my {Read More}
It’s like a bee sting. From a truck-sized bee.
September 10, 2009 By 3 Comments
Week 32! Already four and a half pounds (the baby- I weight a biiiiiit more), blood pressure great for both mom n’ kid, extremely active baby with a superb heart rate and…OH YES, the kid is standing straight up, a.k.a. breech, a.k.a., I’m gonna need that part of my lung and ribcage back. We had evidence of this acrobatic acumen with our latest ultrasound- our child, on its belly, ankles up to the forehead, hands pushing on its face. Impressive, {Read More}
P.J., get my coat.
September 3, 2009 By 4 Comments
I think we’ve stayed at this party too long. a.k.a., That natural childbirth video made me yuke. Last night was our first “Great Expectations” class at Northwestern (do they mean for the class? For my Expectations are only Meh) and what a time was had by all! Eight to ten couples eyeing the other eight to ten couples with these actual inner monologues: Guys- Does he make more money than me? Is he younger than me?/ Gals- She best be {Read More}
Thirty weeks! That sounds close.
August 27, 2009 By 3 Comments
It kinda feels like I’m in the “official” part of my pregnancy- like, now that it’s ten weeks or less ’til Baby Central, this means that I actually have to HAVE THE KID. And other such fun. I’m thoroughly NOT enjoying the every two weeks appointments. The constant poking, prodding and weigh-ins make me feel less Earth Mother and more Rocky Post-Retirement. Or like a science experiment gone horribly awry. (“Why are you still gaining weight?” “Well, until the kid {Read More}
